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The current period represents a full decade since the word “disappearing” entered the public consciousness. At the time, the notion that someone could instantly end all contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an oftentimes unsuccessful exercise in humiliation that is increasingly defined by online slang.

Gen Z, a generation who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y elders could ever fathom. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a extensive glossary to the words Zoomers is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the quest of both. To channel one of the recent most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ultimate goal is showing up as your real, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test inspired by a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your partner’s reply is inquisitive or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who aids you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while running errands, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how broke twentysomethings do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 80s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. Such as calling their exes unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These traits confirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying the rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (nothing fosters closeness faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, intentionally delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her man partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly shut down any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or therapists.

K

Making out – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {