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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, making a strange expression or photographed mid-bite. It feels invasive.

Marielle also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I am not a prop for her Instagram.

The Defence: Marielle

I hope Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of living actively: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but often unplanned moments is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video here or there would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and don’t want making videos to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is willing material. She needs to honor Beth’s privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears confused as to where the line is. The answer is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?